Is Nostalgia Holding You Back from Succeeding Abroad?
Can you feel nostalgic and still survive abroad? Here are some expat tips to help you embrace change and lead a more successful life abroad.
Nostalgia
My husband often revisits the happy moments we lived in Miami. A place where the sun is always shining. Where outdoor sports are played all year round. He thinks back on the friendly faces, our weekend BBQ’s and long walks on the beach.
He is the type of person who looks back on those years as “the good old days”.
Meanwhile, I’m standing there thinking, “We literally left because it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Did you forget the hurricanes? The traffic? The fact that we both agreed it was time for something new?”
Don’t get me wrong—I loved our Miami years. But I see them as a chapter that ended so a new one could begin. He sees them as the highlight reel that everything else should measure up to.
And that’s the nostalgia trap that many expats fall into.
The Two Types of Expats: Future-Seekers vs. Past-Dwellers
Neither approach is inherently wrong—but one definitely makes thriving abroad a whole lot easier.
The question isn’t whether my husband is happy in Munich. He absolutely is!
He loves strolling through our historical old town and hiking in the nearby alps.
But could he be happier? I genuinely think so—if he could just let go of this constant comparison.
“The past is a good place to visit, but don’t stay for too long.” – UNKNOWN
What Science Says About Nostalgia (It’s Complicated)
Here’s the thing about nostalgia: it’s not actually the villain I’m making it out to be. The Scientific American actually says that nostalgia can build self-esteem, help us find meaning in our life, encourage authenticity during periods of change, and boost happiness by releasing dopamine—all things that matter when you’re rebuilding your life in a foreign country.
A little nostalgia is like comfort food—warm, satisfying, and good for the soul in small doses. But living in a constant state of ‘remember when’ is like eating only comfort food: eventually you feel sluggish, stuck, and you’re definitely not nourishing your future.
Overcoming Excessive Nostalgia
So what’s the solution? Obviously, I can’t just tell my husband (or you) to “stop being nostalgic.” That would be like telling someone to stop being hungry—emotions don’t work that way.
Instead, here’s what actually helps:
1. Acknowledge It, Don’t Suppress It
When nostalgia hits, don’t fight it. Let yourself feel it. Share a memory. Look at old photos. That’s healthy! The key is not to set up permanent residence in that memory.
2. Practice “Yes, And” Instead of “Yes, But”
This is an improv technique that works surprisingly well for nostalgia management.
Instead of: “Yes, Miami was great, but Munich has so much history!” Try: “Yes, Miami was great, and I’m grateful we get to experience a completely different lifestyle here.”
It’s not about erasing the past—it’s about making room for the present.
3. Create New Traditions
One thing that’s helped us? Establishing rituals that are uniquely ours for Munich. Our Sunday morning walks to the bakery for fresh pretzels. Our tradition of trying a new hiking trail every month. Our “Stammtisch” (regular table) at our neighborhood biergarten.
These aren’t replacements for Miami memories—they’re new memories we’re actively building.
4. Set Goals for Your New Location
Here’s the truth: nostalgia thrives when you’re not actively engaged with your present. Combat it by setting specific goals for your new home.
Want to learn German? Sign up for classes. Want to understand Bavarian culture better? Join a local club or attend community events. Want to find your “people”? Host a dinner party or join an expat meetup group (yeah, I know, the irony of joining an expat group while trying to integrate—but baby steps).
5. Reframe “The Good Old Days”
Here’s what I remind my husband (gently, because I’m not a monster): those Miami years were great, but they weren’t perfect. And importantly, we chose to leave.
We left because we wanted more mountains and less humidity. We left because we wanted European access and better work-life balance. We left because staying in Miami forever would have meant missing out on this experience.
The Bottom Line: Honor the Past, Live in the Present
Nostalgia isn’t your enemy. It’s actually a sign that you’ve lived a life worth remembering. But when it prevents you from building something new, it stops being a gentle reminder and becomes a heavy anchor.
The real question isn’t whether Miami (or London, or Sydney, or wherever you came from) was better than Munich (or Berlin, or Tokyo, or wherever you are now). The real question is: Are you fully showing up for the life you’re currently living?
Because that’s the only life that’s actually happening right now.
Featured Photo Credit: Ian Dooley on Unsplash
Read Next
10 podcasts you should be listening to if you are an expat in Germany
Yes – I think that nostalgia can often lead to idealising. It is very easy for your present self to remember the past differently to what it actually was (I fall prey to this a lot – thinking that because a time was in the past that it must have been all great). I think it’s especially difficult when you’re an expat and you’re thinking about your home (that is far away and somewhere you may not have been for a while). Equally, I think it’s easy to shadow that nostalgia onto your future – like I’m planning on leaving Munich and going home to Australia, and I’m already thinking about how great everything will be, based on my nostalgia about what it was like when I left. Does that make sense?
It makes total sense Simone. Nostalgia can fog up some memories from prior days. I love this quote from George Ball… “Nostalgia is a seductive liar.” That says it all haha!
Nevertheless, I’m sure your return back home will be amazing! All the best